Of all the culprits that engage to disengaged couples and cause problems in relationships amongst other things, I’m beginning to believe the phone takes the lead. It’s completely in a class of its own!
This little “technology monster” has trumped all else in the fine act of control.
Imagine the way we quickly respond to its every beep and buzz. Like it owns us, but doesn’t it?
Despite this unbearable truth, I still think it is not enough reason for couples wherever, whenever to allow themselves be distracted -by whatever reasons tendered- from one another long enough to begin to believe: “I might just be able to do without him/her”.
Imagine this scenario where a husband or wife is so engulfed in his or her activity on the phone, that they are not able to concentrate on what the other is saying. Finding it rather difficult to make meaningful contribution other than the occasional “hmm” and “oh” to show they are still in the room and not just a lump on a log.
This “hmm and oh” situation has since become the source of worry and discomfort in many homes today!
Why we actually prefer the “technology intruder” over and above our spouses and family could sometimes be determined.
Ranging from: “it doesn’t talk back” and “l don’t have to keep repeating myself” to- “it does exactly what I tell it” and “it understands how I feel”.
Doesn’t that sound like another…
But are these reasons enough to “stay strange” to someone we once professed “undieing” and unending love for?.
To think that we don’t quickly notice the “pull apart” we start experiencing as a result is even more disheartening.
I hear you say “it’s becoming too much” or “it’s already too late” but where were you when it started and what did you do to stem the ugly situation rearing its ugly head.
There are always telltale signs for these kinds of awkward situations and if we could just identify them and nip these situations in the bud, we would save ourselves and our loved ones a lot of stress and distress.
When you start staying up late for needless chats with friends-that’s a sign.
When you rather talk to your phone than your spouse-that’s a sign.
When you feel the urgent need to be left alone, with your phone, so you can take care of business-that’s a sign.
When you leave the food to get burnt because you are on the phone-that’s a sign!
What if the children get sidestepped because of that contraption of yours, no, no. Not good at all!
One of the reasons we may be unable to approach this issue of neglect we feel when our spouses abandon us for their phones is probably because we had at some point or another put ourselves in the same strange circumstances.
Should we then let sleeping dogs be and worsen an already complicated situation?
Another could be that at one point or another we “relished” the “me time” we taught we were having and consequently decided to do nothing about it until it became a cause for concern and haunted us.
So next time you are having a “me time” and your heartbeat does a triple on you, please take a cue from your thundering heart and quit?
Then you won’t have to give those silly excuses when your spouse is approaching.
Then again, I think that one of the major culprits to our not wanting to accept that things are getting out of hand in our relationship and then do almost nothing about it is either self pity or downright laziness.
Can we at least have a heart to heart discussion with our spouses?
We notice the signs but dismiss them even before analyzing them, we get pricked but call it a phase.
Until it grows into an ugly monster that would only take the grace of God to tackle, we do almost nothing and then run from pillar to post most times to those who may not be of help instead of going to God for ultimate counsel and wisdom.
May we not have cause to regret our inactions and actions but be courageous enough to at least be willing to do what is needed even asking ourselves some of these questions:
I’m I the originator of this problem? Have I done enough on my part to curb it? What is the best way to handle this situation?.
We all need to be watchful and prayerful for our adversary the devil goes about seeking who he may devour.
I’m not saying we should assume the role of detective or nag our spouses to death.
I’m just saying we should be more circumspect, observant, proactive rather than reactive in all our dealings.
Let’s not allow little things that we can easily detect and regulate cause us greatly.
We can start with ourselves and not become slaves to our little technology monsters.
Take that step today.
🙂 🙂 🙂