Confessing our faults and keeping secrets


“Please sis, don’t tell anyone oh!”

Anulika shouts at her older sister as they were parting ways and adds:

“I don’t want the publicity that would come with it”

Not wanting to leave it there,  she walks back to her and looks at her, eyes pleading.

“Especially your husband, I know you guys are pretty close. I just don’t want anyone else but you in this matter. Let’s just keep it this way”

Her older sister looks at her and replies.

“Kai, it’s a good thing you mentioned my husband, I would have gone straight to him to offload. But its okay, I can see that this is very dear to you”

She makes a show of zipping her lips and smiles.

“I won’t tell him and that means no one else gets to know. Besides, he’s the only one I would have told anyway”

She laughs, giving her sister a hug.

“Your little secret is safe with me”

But continues with a slight frown

“Even though I don’t see why you are so worked up about it”

And so it stays, their little secret.

James 5 vs 16: confess your faults one to another and pray for one another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of the righteous man availeth much-KJV.

It’s becoming very rare these days to find someone to confide in without mortgaging your peace of mind, joy or liberty in the process. The upbeat your heart sometimes experiences whenever you see the person in question, is a telltale sign that trust has probably decided to come in deferent work clothes or has completely hiked in the opposite direction.

Making it rather difficult to invest such a precious belief in people.

The resultant effect of someone actually breaking promise can be so devastating, that most would opt to take their secrets to the grave than share it and live the rest of their lives not knowing what next or remain kind of indebted to whomever it is they have confided in.

And who would blame them?

Apart from the constant worry that the one would stab you at the back, (especially for those who have scars in this area of sharing) and confide in their best friend who of course has his or her own “bestie” to confide in is that eventually, CNN finds it difficult to compete with the spread of the breaking news, isn’t this enough to make one want to zip up!

The best part of this whole “breaking news” issue is that there’s always a tendency of the story missing some or most of its parts, suffering partial or total mutilation, that by the time it comes around to your ears (and believe me it always manages to) you hardly recognise yourself in it or the various scenes that have been adopted to make the story more tell-able.

Lots of theories have been proposed and definitions put forth, with several appendices, all without your permission. Leaving you in disgust as to how the human mind can be so employed, when the individuals involved really decide to put their imagination to “good use”

Let’s not even venture into those that come to verify the truth or otherwise of the matter therein or those that believe they have a God given right to put together a pity-party on your behalf. Going ahead to do so without recourse as to how it helps the current situation or if you even desired one in the first place!

Then you have to deal with the “looks” you get to receive from those who:
( a ) are probably not bold enough to join the association of Pity-Partying-Persons or
( b) not interested in confirming the truth or otherwise of the matter
( c) are just waiting for an opportunity to look down or up at you
( d) just wanted to give you the “look” anyway

Now back to James 5:13, but this time NLT style :

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

Hmmm, from fault to sin. I don’t even want to dabble into whether one is weightier than the other or not but in some quarters sin and fault certainly do not have the same disarming effect!

My concern is, if the Word of God expects us to be each other’s confidants, then that’s how it should be, shouldn’t it?

Secondly, is it just me or does no one else notice the “and” that conjoin the action of confession of faults to the action of praying for one another’s healing?

This begs the question. Is one of the reasons people are so fraught with deferring kinds of illness from no where in particular without warning not because of the dearth of those to confide in?

Isn’t this lack of confidants or the fear of betrayal from one the reason why most are plunging into depression and emotional turmoil?

For if I have and know someone I can confidently walk up to without fear or friction and offload, why for heavens sake would I allow myself to plunge into depression or be in combat with self-esteem?

Because like it or not, there comes a time when we would want someone to hold our hands and say it is well , the Word of God never fails, how can I help out?

I get it that we should not make a habit of “dumping” on others but there might just be this one time when we feel that the ears of another are so important and needed at that time and then you look around and bang! It hits you, you are completely on your own.

Loneliness starts gnawing at you, insecurity creeps in and before you know it, it’s goodbye peace and hello fear.

You are now carrying this burden, fault, sin all alone when you could have easily reached out to someone.

It’s not a pretty place to be.

This verse of Scripture not only entrusts us with the responsibility to hear ourselves out but also the duty of doing something that would yield corrective, positive results.

Let’s step up to this much needed responsibility and watch as the ripple effect drowns out the noise and nastiness of the times that we’re in as our prayer produces wonderful results!

I celebrate You, Spirit of the Most High God!

Live, Love, Learn, and Grow!


As you make your bed, so you lie


Wishful thinking has been one of man’s major, ancient, enemies.

We want something, but are sometimes not willing to do what it takes to achieve or acquire it.

We want something, but most times wish it would just appear out of the blue without our having to lift a finger towards getting it.

This might not be the case for everyone of us, but it’s rather very easy to daydream about any and everything,  the flying car, the talking home and all sorts without lifting a finger. It’s just that, the price for laziness is quite steep. Quite steep indeed…

And when we don’t have what we want, we sulk, whine, whimper, complain. All but accept the part we played in our not receiving what we desire.Nothing!

We would rather blame someone else than our own selves for our lack of action and incompetence than go through the arduous task of doing the needful-as we say-to acquire the “wishful”

Why we choose to heap blame on others but ourselves for goals not achieved further points to detracting and derailing attitudes that we need to do away with or get out of our system. But do we? Nah! It’s much easier to pass bulk. That soothes us just fine.

Everyone else but you, easy bait.

Considering we even have all it takes to be and get what we want- the beds, the sheets and the pillows that goes with it, the complete set that some may lack-wouldn’t it just be nice to go the final lap and make the bed? And on time too?

There are differing levels of “the way we make our beds” and the circumstances surrounding it that if one really puts cap to head or head to cap, one would find varying degrees and hues to it that would in the end, require another round of head to cap or cap to head process, to enable one understand the gravity of the situation. 

Some situations involve people who have no beds at all. Some have beds with no sheets, while others are not in the league of pillow owners by any long stretch and some have all these things but yet don’t consider the rigors of making the bed a worth while venture.

I mean, come on, aren’t you and I the ones to profit from a neatly made bed after all? What else can beat a good night’s rest on fresh, clean, sheets!

Maybe we should keep viewing it this way-no making my, no sleeping I get-so as to ensure we pull down the obstructing barriers to our nights rests, whether self erected or otherwise, so we can enjoy good, sound, sleep.

After a hard day’s work I should add. This brings me to the timing of making our beds. When should be the appropriate time to make this bed in question? Obviously not when we are weary and worn…

The fact that some even go as far as keeping the sheets so dirty, the ooze from it could kill a distant fly is somewhat unimaginable to some extent but true.

Then others just cannot tell the difference between clean sheets and dirty ones, they just make their beds with the sheets as they are, not bothering with the fine art of clean sheets in the least.

Then comes the herculean task of accepting a point-out, if, and when it comes from others about their not-so clean sheets. God help you, if you are so unfortunate to be the one to tell one of these kinds that their sheets are dirty. You will be faced with the real life drama of denial, abuse of your person and/or serious arguments about whether or not the sheets are clean or dirty and how minding your own business can be a blessing. Then if you do get off easy, strict warning to keep your opinions to yourself and disappear.

I imagine that playing mother hen or goose in these kinds of situation is not a very rewarding pastime but let’s face it, how many of us truly like being told about our dirty anything? Whether we are going about it the public display way or just keeping our private matters private? Hmm, how many? Not many I must say, for rather than be approached by others when we are wrong or lacking in an area, we will would prefer to glide in our state of blissful ignorance and “undisturbedness” if I am allowed to use this grammar at this point.

How about those who clearly lack proper assessment of times and tides? They either end up getting the wrong kind of fabric for the opposite kind of weather as bedsheets and altogether are unprepared to whether the storm or shine when it comes. They are sweating profusely in hot situations and nearly dieing of cold due to thin coverings in freezing atmosphere. 

In these circumstances the supposed well equipped beds, sheets and pillow situations end up being nothing better than the cases of those who have some of the items missing or non of the items in the set at all. They therefore end up facing same life challenges with the have-some or have-nots.

For those of us that have the luxury of having their beds tended to by others, congratulations! But can I quickly point out here that not all situations in this life will always allow pseudo arrangements. For instance, imagine the awkwardness of being fed by another when you are not an invalid or a baby. Even when invalid and aged, the uncomfortable picture of someone else passing you a spoonful at times will make you sit up and fill-up, except in extreme cases where hands fail to meet mouth and then there’s nothing wrong with someone else helping out. Nothing at all.

Other than such cases, we had better get ourselves training on how to make our beds since/if can afford to, or watch as each hour of the night finds us wide awake and deeply irritated and the morning does not help but expose our state of restlessness and lack of sleep. Not a very good condition to be caught in I promise you.

I have heard of and know that some of us can pass out on a bed, clean sheets or not dressed or undressed, and sleep to their hearts content and never be disturbed by the happenings around them. Even if a dedicated, hardworking carpenter decided to take shop by their beds in rigorous job-fulfilling hammering, every day for every night of every year! Well….(where is that smiley with a zipper for lips…)

They don’t bulge or loose sleep over one carpenter who has failed to search the Holy Scripture to discover and understand the importance and meaning of “He giveth His beloveth sweet sleep”.
Forgetting that eventually, what happens to those who sleep on dirty sheets will happen to them. No matter how long it takes, the itching will start and the rash will appear, howbeit, you being the only one to fully understand goings on, but a repercussion always rears it head, ugly to sight or hidden.

Then come the natural human tendency of comparison. Beds, sheets, pillows, the sizes, colours and texture among other issues now get to be evaluated and compared with that of others and precious time that could be used to, for instance, work out how best to improve on our bedroom settings is wasted on the mind sapping activity of “why them and not me” not bothering to put into consideration the hard work and attention that may have come into play before such restfulness was achieved.

As much as God will grant His beloved sweet sleep, it is still up to you and I to play our part. We are to get into our PJ’s or whatever comfortable clothing we require for sleeping, dress our beds and keep to the routine of ensuring the bedding remain clean and tidy as often as necessary. Finding time and opportunity to get spare sheets and slips as we can afford.

Ultimately, the onus for a good night sleep rests with us and no one else. Let’s make effort to ensure we do a good job of ensuring complete restfulness.

We can add progress to this process of bed making given time and effort and practice by adding such things as beautiful smelling fragrance for effect and of course, the cooling system etc etc.

It is after we have successfully played our parts that we can look around, heave a sigh of relief, and stretch out relaxed and content to take naps or night rests as the case may determine.

Otherwise ask ourselves; what exactly I’m I missing out in this process of bed making that is causing my lack of sound sleep?

Once we are able to detect where the problem lies and ultimately do something about it, it’s hello sleep and goodbye sleeplessness.

Or at least count sheep for extra help.

The snore comes naturally. 

As long as it’s not too loud, it’s allowed, after all, you worked for it. So, sleep tight!

Live, Love, Learn, and Grow!